Friday, 15 August 2008

From the mind of Pip-Pip-Hooray!

Just thought I'd share some words from Pip:

Silly Drabbly Stuff (implied slash)

Disclaimer: None of these characters or their environment belong to me at all (I don't even own any of the Scottish Highlands, unfortunately). They belong to the BBC (except for the Highlands - I believe they belong to Scotland). Please don't sue me - I pay my licence fee, and I'm only playing with them. I'll make sure they're clean when I’ve done (although I won’t be washing down the Highlands. God does that often enough, I think - lots of rain).

Author’s Notes:

Just a silly little drabble of the Doctor’s POV that I’ve come up with while getting lost in thoughts of the Doctor and Jamie earlier today, with thanks to Timeless for getting me lost in them by posting links to brilliant slash fan vids on youtube and mentioning kilts a lot. Also more serious thanks to Timeless for pointing me in the right direction of some old episodes of DW featuring the lovely Frazer Hines.

It’s nothing special, and it probably makes no sense whatsoever. It’s also the first bit of DW fanfic I’ve written. The canon for this universe is not quite as scary as Tolkien, but it’s certainly less complete. How can there be “lost” episodes??? *despairs*

Anyway, there’s implied Two/Jamie in this. There’s also implied Ten/Rose and Ten/Jack.

For as much as I've tried to avoid descriptions, it's probably wildly out of character. *sighs*

If you read, I hope you enjoy it. But I’ll warn you right now, you’ll probably be sat there at the end, wondering what the hell it was about.

Silly Drabbly Stuff

It was unforgiveable, really, to carry on like this. His hands moved, just slightly, just to feel the controls of the TARDIS beneath his fingertips, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. It was all about the being alone. And the not being alone. And besides he’d been at it for so long now he didn’t really have a choice.

There was something alive in the heart of it. Or maybe not alive, but certainly aware. The heart of the TARDIS knew him, and knew everything. Knew how this would end - or at least he thought so. Perhaps that was why this was where he wanted to be, uncomfortable as it was to sleep slumped over the TARDIS’ controls.

His fate. He would never have dreamed of it being this way. All alone in the universe, the last of his kind, and his concern and care with the fate of humanity had suddenly become a kind of trap to him - a trap that he had set for himself. With every regeneration becoming seemingly younger and more careless. Setting threads that he couldn’t unravel. Binding himself to them forever, with all their faults and violence and their flashes of brilliance that sometimes humbled even him.

Brief as candle flames, but visible forever because their light couldn’t be extinguished. It travelled on when they were gone, like long dead stars. A ghostly projection of life. Every idea and every leap of genius, taken and pulled apart and improved by subsequent generations.

Oh, he loved them. He had an interest in their affairs until the end of the universe. He saved them from themselves over and over again, leaving more of the tangled web for himself in the process - and he didn’t care. When their story ended, it would be as much about him as it was about them, and that was unforgivable. It was meddling.

Perhaps if it had just been that, he could forget and leave it alone. But it wasn’t so easy. He’d made certain of that by choosing from among them for his companions. He was awake, but pretended to be asleep as a pair of hands grabbed at his shoulders.

“You should be asleep somewhere else,” the voice that went with the hands said, and he slumped heavier, to stop those persistent hands from moving him, no matter how they ragged him around.

This was the thing that kept him trapped, really. He picked them out and brought them with him - and for all he knew they surprised him - every single one. Who among the fields of the fighting and the fallen at Culloden could have taken to the worlds he travelled more easily than Jamie? So quick on the uptake he was wondrous. Taking it all in his stride, but refusing to reliquish the kilt. He was an oddity and a kind of astonishing pleasure. For all he knew. For all of them that he had known.

His touch was as innocent as it could be, given his character. The way he was with the ladies; such a perfect, considerate gentleman, and so there was an edge of sexual tension beneath the palms of his hands that the Doctor was sure Jamie himself didn’t know about. The Doctor left it unspoken, often wondering if that’s why he encouraged the physical closeness between them, because he was waiting for Jamie to become conscious of it.

Whenever he did speak, there was a bite and a sparkle to the words between them that made him think of the future; as if there was some incarnation yet to come that responded to him. Jamie touched every facet of his personality so easily. Who among the fields of the fighting and the fallen could have done it? Probably all of them could have interested him, but he liked who he would be when Jamie showed it to him.

Even now, it wasn’t too late. He was a Time Lord, and he had the TARDIS. Jamie would certainly recognise him in an instant, through all of the faces he’d carried since then. With every incarnation a little more carefree - a little lighter of heart while the ties he created bound him ever closer to the fate of humanity. He was an oddity himself, and perhaps that was why he felt so close to them. His fingers felt the heart of the TARDIS through the controls - and he wasn’t quite that either. He was more self-aware. Somewhere in the middle, then.

“Doctor?” The voice was different, but the Highlander and the Scot was there in him, if he chose to look for it. Endless possibilities, countless universes, and this was just one of them. His thoughts ran to Rose, suddenly. Somewhere, he had it in him to sound exactly like Jamie, and the Doctor could hear it clearly for a second, joking and switching between the two accents as if to tease him. Who amongst all of those he had known could tease in such a way? The Doctor smiled, proving he was awake as Jack’s hands moved down underneath his arms.

“Stop it,” he said, a playful warning in his voice, and he could see Jack rolling his eyes so clearly that he grinned before sitting up straight and stretching his arms above his head.

Other things. Other people. Jamie was where he should be, his life another brightly shining thread in the tapestry of human experience and endeavour, and he had been a traveller for a time. He had been a beautiful moment in the Doctor’s experience. An image of Jamie, forever young, on his bare knees on the green grass of some distant hilltop made him lose track of his thoughts for a second and he longed for Jamie as surely as he longed for Rose. As he longed for all of them. For those lost and for those yet to come. And here was Jack, a fixed point in time and space. The first who would be able to truly follow the tangled story of the Doctor and humanity right to the very end.

He stared at Jack for a long moment, remembering clearly running away from him because of that very thing. Jack would see to the end. All of it. Jack would know him. And he knew that Jack would forgive him anything, allow him everything, and be conscious of it all.

Author’s Note: Erm.. that’s it. As I say, after that - even I’m wondering what it was about. Oh, well; maybe I'll do better next time.

I kind of think there's going to be a next time. Beware.

There had better be ... :D

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